Today I read a lot and played DND with my friends. I like it very much and I loooove my new character even if she's a bit of a brat. I'm just afraid my friends will never like her because of her temper... I'm feeling a bit down I'm not sure why. I wrote a bit for my fanfiction of the Belles of London and even if I don't like the start very much, I'll continue and see how it turns out! For now, maybe I'll go to sleep or try to watch a movie or something... I don't know...

It's been almost four years since I last talked to Clara. She made me feel like utter shit and she treated me like one, too. She's by far the worst friend I've ever had in all my life. Her actions caused me so much pain, I still think of her words even to this day. And today, most of all, because it's her fucking birthday. When will it stop being her day and become just another day again? I hate that she still has so much power over me, even four years later. I hate how much I still think about her. It makes me so full of anger and grief. Who would I be without all this hurt she gave me? Would I be happier? Would I feel better in my relationships to others? In my relationship with myself? Anyway, I'm just rambling because of the date. She's a bitch and she doesn't deserve any of my time or thoughts. But sometimes, it's easier said than done.

I woke up really early this morning so I felt like I had a looooot of time before going to work! I wrote a letter for Lola and made progress on my site. I read and finished my book and it was soooooooo cute???? It made me giggle and almost cry in the train... I love Mimi Matthews' work so much... She really knows how to make me feel deep feelings and I really love her stories for that. I'm also feeling sad because I won't see the Belles and the Orphans anymore, it's a closed chapter now. I've grown so fond of them all... I'll miss them deeply! I'll have to make lots of fanarts!!! I'll have to think about who my favourite couple is, thought... I'm not sure...

Today I had a therapy appointment so it took most of my day since I live a bit far from my therapist's office. I don't mind it too much because I can read on the way! I made great progress with my current book, A Winter Companion by Mimi Matthews. I love the characters so much, as usual... I just don't want to finish this book because it'll be the end of this little universe she built. I love the Belles and the Orphans soooooooooooooo much!!! I highly recommend you to read these books series if you like silly romances set in victorian era. On another note, I'm kind of in a weird mood these days because I feel happier than I did at this time last year but there's still something missing... I wish I could find motivation in my everyday life, honestly. I should feel great but there's something lacking in my life. I have to resist the urge to download hinge just to feel something, y'know?

For a while now, I felt as if I couldn't create anymore. I didn't write, didn't draw. Didn't do anything at all, really. But I realized today that, making this web site or even, before that, making my blog looks cute and stuff it is creating. I'm using my mind and my creativity to make something. It's not art per se but it's something close. Something I love doing. This realization is making me happy. I'm glad I can find art in anything I do.