DC one shotFamily is a strange concept for Jason Todd. To him, it feels distant and vague. Something he never really had. And doesn't deserve. It's not true, of course. But old habits die hard. Especially if you already went to the grave with them once. They're even harder to get rid of in their second run. Jason knows that better than anyone else.He had his fair share of families. Once, a long time ago, there was a woman. Some angel in his memories. She had blue eyes just like his, cold and broken. The only thing she left him before giving him up. She was nothing more than a voice in the back of his mind. A phantom under his eyelids when the nights were dark. He never forgot the curve of her lips or the way her hair parted. He could never forget her gentle touch on his cheek and the tone she used to talk to him. Everything was blurry, but he couldn't forget. Sheila had let him alone in a terrible household. Barely a home. All he had was his father. If he could call him that. Barely a man. More garbage than a dad. He's the one who taught him to steal and lie. Running was in their bloodline. Jason doesn't really have many memories of the times where it was only the two of them. Endless runs, hits and screams. He was little and he was scared but no one cared about that. Then, one day, his father came home with Catherine. And she never left.Catherine had loved him. Jason was sure of it. If love was taking him to school on the good mornings and putting him to bed at an appropriate time. Making him eat at least one warm meal on the good days. Washing his clothes and letting him read books. She loved him in little ways and he loved her with his whole heart. She didn't let him alone in the dark like his mother. Catherine didn't yell at him like his father. When he fell, she lifted him up. She taught him to fight with his brain instead of his fists. She gave him a library card and opportunity to change his destiny. He didn't have to be like his father. He could be better. He wanted to be better and she wanted that, too.Catherine was good to him. It hurt more to see her go than to learn about his dad's death in the papers. It was harder to try and go on about his life without her. He stopped going to school and wearing clean clothes. He didn't really sleep at night anymore because he had found her on his bed; she didn't disappear like his parents. In one clean sweep. A magic trick that left him an orphan. He had to watch her fading away, one day at a time. No more bedtime stories. No more meals. Electricity went off. The landlord kept asking him where were the adults. Dad's not here at the moment. He's outside, he said, everyday. Dad is working. Catherine is tired. She's sleeping. So tell her to pay when she wakes up, kid. Yes, Sir. Goodbye, Sir. Yes, I'll tell them. Jason had to learn to live by himself. Dodging adults and responsibilities. He taught himself cooking and washing. He stole coins for the laundry and dig through his neighbours' trash to find his meals. One day, he said goodbye to Catherine. He became a thief. A burglar. A teen delinquent. A problem. He became part of the city's rats. Doing whatever he had to do to survive. The landlord didn't care if he was alone as long as the rent was paid. And he paid. Every single month without fault. Stealing food and money to get by. Stealing books to survive. Every night he went to the Gotham library and spent hours reading everything he could. Until the guardian caught him and he was taken by the police. They let him go because they couldn't prove he had committed any crime besides reading. He never went back. Just like Catherine, he said goodbye to the good part of himself. Goodbye to the books and the dreams.Some people asked him if he knew where Catherine was. In the graveyard, he wanted to say. Told them she ran away, instead. Left me and dad. Where is dad ? At work. At the bar. Somewhere. It was tiring. And scary. But he had to go on. Wake up every day. Eat. Steal. Run. Always run. From the landlord, the cops, the adults, the other teens. After Sheila and Willis and Catherine, he started to think that he wasn't made for families. He was better alone, anyway. He didn't need anyone to survive. It was bullshit but the lies saved him. From giving up. From becoming yet another fucked up teenager in the nightmare that was Gotham.He was still running and lying and stealing but at least he was alive. That's when he met Bruce. A terrible man with a terrible car. A coat that could pay up more than a year of his rent. A watch so shiny he couldn't help but follow it with his eyes. Bruce was cold and distant. He had a sadness in his eyes. But he hold out his hand to him. He gave Jason a chance. A home. A place. A belonging. To the little kid, all of this was surreal. And the first few days, Jason was pretty sure he had died of hunger in his shitty flat on Crime Avenue. It was the only way he could explain how he was standing in the middle of a ballroom. A real ballroom ! There even was a real butler. A man named Alfred. Stern and serious at the first glance. Really intimidating. A mad mustache and not a lot of hair. Jason tried and stayed out of his sights for weeks before he first talked to him. That's when he learned how kind and funny the old man really was. He was more of a grandfather than a butler. Bruce wasn't often at home and Jason liked it that way. It gave him the opportunity to snoop around the manor. He discovered new rooms at every corner but his favourite was the library. Alfred told him he could read every book he wanted. Every book ? Jason hadn't believed him, at first. He was shy and still hesitant. He went to the library every night and read as much as he could. He was certain that Bruce would make him go away one day so he had to make the most of his current situation. But one night, he found cookies and warm milk waiting for him in his favorite spot of the library. There was a plaid, too. That day, his heart felt so big it hurt. His eyes started to cry on their own and he ate all the cookies at once. The day after, he woke up sick and happy. And for the first time in forever, he felt like he had a home. But it didn't last. Some years later, Bruce started to see through his cracks. The man realized who he really was and lost is faith. Whatever Jason tried to do, to prove him he was good enough, never worked. Everything went down. He was put on the bench and had to listen to everyone while they lied to his face. Bruce didn't care about his safety, only his own image. Dick was nothing but a hypocrite. And he had let Alfred down, he knew it well enough. At the same time, Sheila came back in his mind but it wasn't a great thing. He put a face on his childhood memories. He followed her but his angel became nothing more than mere woman. Afraid and driven by her humanity. She hurt him and he wasn't even surprised about it. Deep down, he always knew it would come to this. The kind of pain he'd grown accustomed to.He died for the first time. When he came back from the other place, he felt changed. All of his sadness and fear had been replaced by anger and hate. That's when he met another angel. Talia was beautiful and deadly. And she tended to him like she'd do to a son. She had a baby boy who made him think about someone from his past. But he wasn't sure who. And she taught him to speak again. But better than he ever was before. English and chinese and arabic. She was a great teacher. He remembered how to fight by sparring with her soldiers. He never called her mother but it sure felt like he was born as her child this time around. Ra's wasn't a great man. But he respected him. He found him impressive and brave. His favorite memories are from his time with Damian. His baby brother. An adorable toddler who had learnt to sway a sword at only two years old. He really cared for him. He felt the need to protect him. But it wasn't his place. Not really. He left and lost himself for some times. His memories had come back and he felt like he had to find again who he was. He missed Catherine and Alfred and Damian. He missed the little moments of joy. But they were drowned in his anger. He felt wronged. It was so unfair that he had to go through all of that and no one ever stood up for him! He cared for all of those people but they let him go. One by one. Bruce was the worst. Because he was all about justice but didn't do anything about bringing justice for his dead son. This thought polluted his mind. It tainted all of his good memories. All of the happiness he ever felt in his heart was now replaced by a sadness so big it made him want to hurl. He was furious. Why did no one ever fought for him? Why did Catherine had to be so selfish that she died on his own fucking bed? Why had Alfred let him think he was part of their family but then agreed with Bruce to punish him? Why did Dick never said anything to him when they shared the same experience? When he had done nothing wrong? Why was Damian so loved when even his own mother had never wanted to do anything with him? Enraged with the world, Jason missed no one. Why were Dick and Barbara always looking down on him when he was Robin? As if he would never be as good as the first Boy Wonder? Why did Talia treated him like a son before pushing him on the side as if she never cared for him?It was his anger that made him come back to Gotham. That made him wear the Red Hood.
