Of course fighting is hard. There’s no way denying that. But the aftermath is so much harder.
The moments you spend mending to the things that have been destroyed. The ones where you see everything that you can’t save and won’t be able to fix. When you have to come home and you’re welcomed by only pain and sorrow. Eddie hated it. He hated everything. Coming back to the trailer park really was worse than fighting out-of-this-world monsters and eldritch entities looking like D&D bosses. Seeing the sadness and the fear in Wayne’s eyes anytime he caught him looking. It was like his uncle couldn’t quite believe it. That he was there. That he came back. At first, Eddie thought it was because Wayne believed the murder allegations. Because he was scared of him, too. Like the rest of the city. Half of it, at least. But he came to understand that Wayne acted like that because he was scared for him. He thought that he was dead. He thought that he’d lost him too. After everything they went through. So Eddie indulged him. He let him stare. He let him cry whenever it was too much. Both of them didn’t talk much about it. For one, Eddie was incapable of explaining what happened. And even if he had known enough words to tell what he’d been through, he wasn’t certain Wayne would believe him. Or just understand what he was talking about. So he told him the bare minimum. And it was enough for both of them.
The first few weeks, they slept together. All cramped up in Eddie’s bed. Wayne was keeping an eye on him at all times. Eddie would get up at three am to take a piss and he’d come back to his uncle looking terrified. Trembling, tears in his eyes and all that stuff. But it was good to have someone by his side when the nightmares started. He’d wake up screaming and Wayne was there. Rocking him softly to sleep. His own tears streaming down his face aged by too much work and hurt. But after some time, when his ptsd and traumas were already hard to manage on their own, it became even harder to try and operate normally with Wayne on his back all the time. That’s why he started going out everyday. Even though the city still hated him. It was easier to live with their hatred than with his uncle’s fear.
He knew it wasn’t fair to him. But he couldn’t do anything else to appease it. Himself wasn’t even sure that Vecna wouldn’t come back. And he didn’t know what he’d do if it was the case. If he had to fight again while Wayne was worrying himself into the grave. It was too scary to think about. Too painful.
Some days, Eddie let himself thought that he should have died. It would’ve made everything so much easier. But it was his cowardly side talking. His flight response making him want to run away. Once again. So he pushed through. He dressed up in his old clothes. Wore his old rings. Smoked his old weed. He went to the old city that was still fixing itself up. Watched people trying to act as if their town wasn’t cursed. As if there wasn’t a literal pit in the middle of it. Kinda just like him. And, eventually, his feet and his mind always took him to the same place. The family video store. He liked the place. Even before all of this. They didn’t have lots of horror movies and it wasn’t bigger than the other VHS renting place in Hawkins but he liked it nonetheless. Even more since his friends started to work there. Well. His friend, Robin, and her friend, Steve Harrington.
He wasn’t really sure if they were really friends even after everything they experienced together. Of course they spent a lot of time glued to each others while fighting what they could call the end of the world but did it qualified them as being friends however ?
He did asked Robin who told him to ask Steve directly. He didn’t know if she said that because she genuinely thought it was the best way or if she just wanted to screw him up for some reason. He could ask him but… He wasn’t sure of how to do so. They didn’t spend that much time alone and it would be weird to ask the guy if he thought of him as a friend in front of their other friends. So he kept that for himself.
And Steve was nice enough to treat him like a normal person. Almost like a friend, yes. Not as Eddie “The Freak” Munson. Not as a survivor. Just as himself. To be fair, the guy was apparently used to fight great evils and monsters and treated everyone else as normal people even after everything that had happened. He was still joking around with Robin, still flirting awkwardly with Nancy, still taking care of the kids and scolding them if necessary. He went to work everyday, he went to see Lucas play basketball. He came to collect Dustin, Mike and Will after their D&D sessions. He took Max and El to the mall when they asked him. And when Eddie was watching him do all of that it helped him understand something great about Steve Harrington.
He didn’t know either how to cope with all that fucking stuff. Steve was good at making people think he had everything under control but he let his facade slip enough time for him to see the cracks under his smiles and jokes. And if the prom king, rich boy, perfect son-in-law Steve Harrington was struggling then Eddie thought that it was okay for him to still have nightmares every night and find comfort in sleeping with his uncle by his side.
Every time Eddie pushes the door of the store it makes a little chiming sound. It’s pretty and familiar. And every single time, Steve is there to welcome him. Some days, he’s lazily reading a magazine on the counter. On others, he’s frantically shouting into the phone — often debating something with Dustin. Occasionally, he’s helping a customer. He’s always smiling and polite. And every time Eddie comes into the store, Steve’s eyes welcome him. They watch him, scan him, and then he smiles at him. Smiles. At. Him. As if they didn’t went through traumatic events together and just seing Eddie bring all of these bad memories up. Steve seems to doesn’t care about Vecna or anything else. To anyone else, he’d look like a fool.
It was funny, at first, to think that Steve was just another dumb jock who peaked in high school. And he played his part in it. He talked about girls and sports and his parent’s two story house and his pool like it was an evidence. He seemed to know next to nothing about music or movies except for the ones Robin forced him to watch. Steve was supposed to be an asshole. But Steve is Robin’s best friend. He’s respectful of Nancy’s feelings. He takes care of a bunch of kids, treating them like his own little brothers and sisters, even thought no one really asked him to. He killed a bunch of monsters just to protect the people he loves. Steve is thoughtful and he talks softly when he sees that people are tense around him. He chuckles to himself when he thinks no one is watching him, probably thinking about funny things. And every time he looks at Eddie, it’s in a way that makes his stomach feel weird. Probably the anxiety or the traumas. Or something like that.
“Hey, Munson,” he says, this time peaking from behind a shelf with a pile of VHS in his arms. He waves awkwardly and smiles. Eddie feels the need to run and scream and roll on the floor but he waves back and walks in. He likes the way Steve says his name. As if every letter is a word in itself. Important words, at that. It makes him feel important. It’s stupid but he likes the way he talks in a whole. Sometimes, when they all hang out together, he just shut himself out and listens to Steve and Robin argue about something and it’s so comforting to listen to them. Because they’re both passionate and stupid and they always act like they didn’t survived horrible things only a few months prior. They make him feel alive in a sense.
Eddie jump on the counter and sits there, waiting for Steve to finish ordering the movies on display. There’s no one else in the store at the moment. It’s a Tuesday morning and it’s cloudy outside. The people who didn’t move are probably helping to rebuild the city. Or they decided to stay inside for the day. It’ll probably rain on the afternoon. Maybe Steve’s colleague is in the back or on a break. He knows that Robin isn’t working today because they hung out the night before and she told him all about her spending the day with Nancy. They’re doing volunteer work at the school or something. So he picks up a magazine and absentmindedly looks at the pages, his eyes gazing over to where Steve is working every now and then. They don’t talk and the only sound is coming from the little TV playing some movies previews on loop. It’s weird how silence is always comfortable around him. They don’t always feel the need to speak but it’s rarely awkward. Eddie loved to talk. He loved when people where listening to him. That’s why he’s in a band. Why he’s a game master. He loved the attention and feeling listened and important. He still do but… Around Steve he feels like it’s okay to be silent. It’s kinda cool to be able to just stay put and still be comfortable with each other. It’s rare for him to feel like that.
After about five minutes or so, Steve finally comes up where Eddie is perched and grin at him, “So ?” He leans on the counter.
Eddie looks down on him, “So what, Harrington ?” Steve observes him a little more before speaking up again and he can’t help but wonder what does he see when he stares at him like that. “Robin isn’t there today. But you know that.”
Eddie smirks playfully, “I do ?”
“Yes. Because she called me and told me you two spent the evening together yesterday. And no one invited me !” his face turns into a dramatic pout and he puts his head down, shaking it from side to side slowly. Eddie can’t help but laugh at that. The sound made Steve jerks his head up again, “Are you here to apologise ?”
“You’re not the center of the universe, Steve Harrington,” he retorts while dropping his magazine on the counter. “Are you mad at your kids when they don’t invite you at their fifteen-years-old parties ?”
He scoffs, “My kids ?” In a smooth move he takes the magazine and Eddie can’t help but linger a little too long on his hands. They’re scarred and angular in the way boys’ hands are. He knows they’re soft at the touch. Why does he know that ? He’s lost in thought when he hears Steve coughing to get his attention.
Refocusing on the guy in front of him, he grins, “Hum… Yes ? Your kids ? Why are you surprised ?”
“They’re not mine.”
At that, Eddie laughs a little bit too much. “Pretty sure they are, Harrington !” Steve scoffs again and he can’t help but appreciate the way he stands up and put his hands on his hips while rolling his eyes. Everyone always says Eddie is the dramatic one but that’s surely because they never saw Steve in his mom mode.
“I just take care of them because half of them have pretty shitty families and the other half are little shits!” And he says that with so much softness in his voice that Eddie absolutely can’t believe him. Not even for one second.
“Admit it, Harrington. You love these little shits.”
Steve sighs and finally shrugs, “And what if I do ?” It’s cute when he admits it. But he would never tell it directly to the kids. Dustin would never let him live with that and Eddie is pretty sure Max would take advantage and blackmail him with it for ever. They’re just like that.
“Never said it was a bad thing, big boy !” He laughs again and starts to feel fidgety. He stayed down for too long. He jumps of the counter and turn around to face the other boy while moving a little to the beat of the song of one of the movie previews. Probably a musical or something because it’s been playing songs for a while now. Steve watches him do all of that without moving and smiles when Eddie starts dancing more shamelessly to the music.
“So I believe i won’t get any apology today ?” He asks, leaning once again on the counter without detaching his eyes from Eddie. He would never say it loud but he finds it kinda hot when he does that. It’s… Enthralling. He needs to move. He dances a little bit more but the music gets cut off and replaced by another preview. Frustrated, Eddie starts to play with his rings and comes closer from the counter once again. He catches Steve glancing at his hands. Does he find them pretty ? Sexy ? Eddie thinks he’d like it if he complimented him on his hands. On anything, really. It must be nice to be complimented by Steve Harrington. Like, yes, the guy’s the biggest flirt in Hawkins but he never experienced it first hand. He watched him swooning in front of Nancy and desperately try to have a date with any single woman entering the store but he never flirted with him. It’s not like Eddie’s jealous or anything. Not at all. Just…
“You’re spacing out a lot, today. Is everything alright ?” He looks up at Steve and oh. He’s watching him with care. Just like when El have trouble expressing what she wants or when Will gets really anxious about going somewhere. He spoke softly, too. It’s somehow endearing.
Eddie shakes his head and smiles again, “Sorry, sorry. Was taken aback by the lack of music,” he points the little TV screen and Steve laughs at that.
“I can fix that,” he says, still in his soft voice. Is it his mom voice or just his caring voice ? Does he see Eddie as a child ? Oh my god, does he see him just as Dustin’s friend ? It’d be mortifying !
All while he’s spiralling, Steve goes to the TV and change the loop he probably put on the morning. He changes it for their musical special and when he’s done, the music gets Eddie out of his thoughts.
He beams at Steve, “Thanks, Harrington ! I’m sorry we didn’t invite you to our little soirée.” The french words make him snorts.
“Thank you. I know I’m not the center of the world but it’s nice to act like it sometimes,” and on that he winks at him.
Saved by the music, Eddie starts to dance again before Steve can see the pink flushing on his cheeks. They stay silence for one song, then two. It’s nice. Rain started pouring outside and they can hear some commotion on the street as cars honk. People who probably want to get home before it rains harder.
Inside of the family video store, Steve is still looking at Eddie. He can feel his eyes on him. It’s a little bit unsettling. But it’s great, too.